Jake of the Web

The employees get the last word here, retelling encounters with ridiculous customers:

Customer: “No, I don’t want the cigarettes with this health warning about cigarettes causing impotency.”
Me: “Ok. Do you want ’smoking harms those around you,’ or ’smoking causes testicular cancer?’”
Customer: “Give me the ‘harms others’ ones.”

Customer: “I ordered half pepperoni and half sausage!”
Me: *opens the box* “It looks fine to me, sir. What’s wrong with it?”
Customer: “I wanted my pepperoni on the LEFT side!”

-The man insisting he can't have tomato on his sandwich because a tomato would kill him, but then asks for ketchup.
-The woman DEMANDING the library lend her their furniture.
-The angry mother who couldn't understand why a paintball field allowed her 27 year old son play without her signing a release form.
-The customer who would not let a checker ring her up because the checker wasn't a Christian. That customer turned out to be shoplifting.
-The late-arriving woman who expected the movie theater to 'rewind' the film for her and her children.
-The zoo visitor who found the work 'peacock' offensive and chided the zoo employee for using it.
-The bar patron who ordered 'scotch on the rocks' and then was furious that it contained ice.

http://notalwaysright.com/